Home » Public » New Beginnings » Therapy and Therapists
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #101807 is a reply to message #101800 ] |
Tue, 25 May 2010 12:21   |
Anonymous  |
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Wow...interesting question DJ....guess I'll give you my 2 cents worth on the topic.
It seems that so many people deal with lots of problems other than the gender thing. Of course, our gender issues are sometimes what create many of our problems but that's where someone that treats GID patients regularly comes in handy....they've "seen it before" .
All my life I have sought guidance....either thru my parents, pastor, teachers, friends, meditation and prayer. I do NOT want to be told what to do....NO WAY. THAT raises my hackles quicker than anything. I simply want input on my thoughts and ideas from others to work with. Once I have as much info as I can gather I plot a course of action.....and you better not try to stop me!
My first experience with a psychologist was back in the early 80's. My best friend in the world was his secretary. We were all social friends...I found him intriguing...a wonderful person. (a hippy guru type)
While struggling with my new restaurant trying to work myself to death (and having a near suicide attempt) my best friend calls and asks if I want to take a bi-weekly appointment that had opened up. At the time I had great insurance and it didn't cost me anything....I jumped on it. I had sessions every two weeks for about 8 months......until I lost my insurance.
Most of my issues was about the business, alcohol abuse, stress, weight problems.....we FINALLY began talking about my sexual orientation and my celibacy issues. THAT was when I stopped the therapy....too bad...we were close to having a break thru.
I moved away for 8 years....came back....kept myself buried in work and alcohol.....2004 things started to crumble....Spring of 2005 I began earnest research....Googled for "Gender Therapist" for my state. :huh:
There was my old therapist's name! I sent a letter to him..short and sweet:
YOU'RE A DAMN GENDER THERAPIST!!!
(((WE NEED TO TALK!!))
contact me .... dummy@yahoo.com
I got an immediate response and a session the next week.
The REASON my friend had made an appointment for me that many years ago was BECAUSE she knew I needed to see him.
One of the first things I asked him was~ "WHY?? WHY didn't you ask me if I had gender issues?"
"I never plant seeds....it MUST come from you." :(
I saw him about 10 times in six months....2005/2006 .... MOSTLY talking about LIFE. Because of finances I have not seen him since Spring of 2006.
If I could afford it I would see a general therapist about once or twice a year....kinda' like having my teeth cleaned!
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #101906 is a reply to message #101899 ] |
Wed, 26 May 2010 20:24 |
| Anonymous |
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I have not doubt in time (maybe sooner than later), I will find a helper. If for no other reason than to be able find a place to have a quite dinner with out feeling that I'm the entertainment.
But even if I won the lottery I know I wouldn't rush into anything. If possible I have standards for myself that are higher and stricter than the SOC. Maybe I can be happy with a dusting of E for my mental health and finally letting people know the real me who has been hiding in plain sight in front of them. I really don't think I need to wear dresses, have big boobs, or even look like anyone else to do that. Just Allie- no masks, no props, and as Frankie A said, "without a net".
I would like to have the parts I know I should have had before I die, but at this point it isn't as important as living an honest life with what time I do have left.
And I am a little sorry if I make people uncomfortable, But if they had to grow up being me, then they really would know I didn't chose this.
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #102210 is a reply to message #102182 ] |
Sun, 30 May 2010 17:25 |
 kim133
Messages: 337
Registered: October 2008
Location: South Carolina |
Senior Member
BL3D |
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| Sevan wrote on Sun, 30 May 2010 15:35 | Hmmmm therapy.
...Told her about everything. Then when I was feeling like it was time for me to go on hormones, time for me to move forward...she pulled the rug out and said no. She used everything I'd talked about against me saying that i needed to fix all this pile of crap (which mostly stemed from the fact I had the wrong hormones running the show!) before she'd write the letter for hormones.
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Hmmmmm. Sounds to me like you got the wrong therapist. Although it might be a little extra hard for you to find a good one 
It seems I got lucky. Very lucky. Mine has been the sweetest person in the world, helpful as soon as you ask but suggesting almost nothing until then. I have no doubt she would hold me to the official recomendations for SRS requirements, but that probably won't be an issue anyway since I can't afford it right now. It is true I don't seem to have the problems that plague most of us. Or I have already solved them (but that's another story!). I didn't even have to ask for hormones, she interrupted my speech (the only time she has ever done that) to say I needed to see a doctor and get on hormones! I was opening the bottle within two days!
I am not saying she would seem easy to everyone, but she does know transgender people and she is very nice to us. For me, it was the first time I had met anyone like that.
I feel very strongly (admittedly on a non-statistically significant sample size of one) that anyone that even thinks they might have issues like this should find a -REAL- GENDER Therapist as soon as they can afford it. If it's not the right one, try another. My therapist's name is Virginia Erhardt, she's on the web.
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #102229 is a reply to message #102214 ] |
Sun, 30 May 2010 18:53 |
Wendy C
Messages: 4340
Registered: October 2007
Location: Gateway to the West |
Senior Member
BL3D |
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When it comes to seeing a Therapist for Gender Incongruence I personally see them as another aid in ones transitioning. I think the main concern for anyone should be the fact that surgical procedures to change ones gender is irreversible by today's standards. It is not what you want to make a mistake with nor is it something most Medical Professionals do without protection from a future lawsuit.
That said, I think the WPATH (World Professional Association for Transgender Health) Standards of Care are not that unreasonable. They are not wrote in stone and a good therapist will allow you to tailor it to your needs and work with you. Not everyone will require a Therapist, but if you are unsure about your thoughts or have even the least of doubts, then by all means seek a qualified Gender Therapist, preferably one with experience. Any other Medical diagnosis has a SOC so this is really no different. If or when the Psychiatric umbrella is lifted off our shoulders and GI becomes a Medical concern, a SOC will no doubt be required. I personally think we will always have one.
A Therapist also can aid you in transition in many ways, by recommending you to an Endocrinologist for the administration of HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) and the subsequent blood testing that is recommended. Hormones can be dangerous and cause serious health risks A Therapist can give advice on how others have proceeded successfully or have had problems. Transition is not easy for most, it creates family strife, financial burdens, emotional changes, job situations that can end in termination, prejudice and many others. It will take a great amount of courage, determination, and possible multiple surgery's.
It is always helps to have a professional to help you walk through all this. Ultimately one will have to make their own decision and it is an important one. Personally, I recommend a Therapist.
[Updated on: Sun, 30 May 2010 18:54]
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #102488 is a reply to message #102365 ] |
Tue, 01 June 2010 12:33 |
buddha
Messages: 127
Registered: May 2010
Location: Michigan |
Senior Member |
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A therapist I'd seen for four years for depression & anxiety referred me to a gender therapist (Yes! It took me almost four years to muster the courage to talk about gender dysphoria!). Therapist #1 was probably 65, and had never had a patient with gender dysphoria. I don't think it was his "thing", anyways, since he dropped me like a hot potato when talk turned to transition.
As for my gender therapist...she's way cool. She's the only therapist in town dealing with LGBT patients. She's hooked me up with a LGBT-friendly electrologist, hair stylist, endo, etc. I think she's a lesbian, so I've got a shot at her -- I have many "sexy thoughts" about her! (Just kidding, almost) She comes back from vacation on Sunday, and will write me my HRT letter the following week. She's made what rightfully should be a frightening prospect, a much easier leap. Given my experience, there's a huge difference between a gender therapist & a generic therapist.
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #102492 is a reply to message #101800 ] |
Tue, 01 June 2010 13:10 |
| Anonymous |
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It seems I can always rely on BL to feed me good things when I feel I need them.
I have been trying to word a checklist of things to ask a therapist for a post here for a long time now. Another perfect example of BL's magic is that I couldn't remember how to spell therapist and all I had to do is look at the title of this thread.
If it would not unravel this thread to much, could you all suggest things you asked when you were first interviewing your shrinks.
It is time for my incredible secret to come out. I can and have gotten my own meds and blood tests for quite a while. But this latest hormone free self test has proved to me that I need at the very least a live support group as well as my imaginary friends here.
Thank You
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #102516 is a reply to message #102511 ] |
Tue, 01 June 2010 16:02 |
| Anonymous |
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Hmmm...
I wonder if any of the Borg are/can be gender dysphoric?
The Queen is clearly female, 7 of 9 is clearly female. But it seems that almost all of the drones are male, there are some exceptions I have noticed. How might the Borg resolve gender dysphoria? The Borg are Matriarchal, smart!!! The males are slaves, hahaha.
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #102725 is a reply to message #102521 ] |
Wed, 02 June 2010 15:59 |
| Anonymous |
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Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens are a prolific husband and wife writing team, known mainly for their involvement with the Star Trek franchise. They have written several books both within and without Star Trek, and acted as executive story editors and co-producers on the fourth season of the series Star Trek: Enterprise. Both of them are amongst the series writers who had cameos in "These Are the Voyages...", the final episode of Enterprise.
Previously, they acted as staff writers and supervising producers in the second and third seasons of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World, and wrote episodes of Batman: The Animated Series, Beyond Reality, Catwalk, Phantom 2040, The Hitchhiker, and John Woo's Once a Thief. They also wrote Van Helsing: The London Assignment for Universal Animation Studios. [1]
Before branching into Star Trek, fantasy, and mainstream thrillers with Judith, Garfield wrote five novels blending horror and technology, prompting Stephen King to say, "Garfield Reeves-Stevens is the Tom Clancy of horror."[2] One of those novels, Children of the Shroud, is credited by New York Magazine as being the first to feature a storyline based on cloning Jesus.[3]
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #102873 is a reply to message #102725 ] |
Thu, 03 June 2010 16:40 |
Katie
Messages: 13579
Registered: October 2007
Location: La La Land |
Senior Member
Administrator
Bitch Queen of Palolo
BL3D
Frequent Flyer |
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| Anonymous wrote on Wed, 02 June 2010 12:59 | Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens are a prolific husband and wife writing team, known mainly for their involvement with the Star Trek franchise. They have written several books both within and without Star Trek, and acted as executive story editors and co-producers on the fourth season of the series Star Trek: Enterprise. Both of them are amongst the series writers who had cameos in "These Are the Voyages...", the final episode of Enterprise.
Previously, they acted as staff writers and supervising producers in the second and third seasons of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World, and wrote episodes of Batman: The Animated Series, Beyond Reality, Catwalk, Phantom 2040, The Hitchhiker, and John Woo's Once a Thief. They also wrote Van Helsing: The London Assignment for Universal Animation Studios. [1]
Before branching into Star Trek, fantasy, and mainstream thrillers with Judith, Garfield wrote five novels blending horror and technology, prompting Stephen King to say, "Garfield Reeves-Stevens is the Tom Clancy of horror."[2] One of those novels, Children of the Shroud, is credited by New York Magazine as being the first to feature a storyline based on cloning Jesus.[3]
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 Fascinating ... 
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #103032 is a reply to message #101800 ] |
Fri, 04 June 2010 16:16 |
| Anonymous |
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Oops, I miss the edit feature... I'm able to speak with women like me... dang.
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #106160 is a reply to message #103034 ] |
Fri, 25 June 2010 17:22 |
| Anonymous |
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| Katie wrote on Fri, 04 June 2010 19:25 | | Anonymous wrote on Fri, 04 June 2010 13:16 | Oops, I miss the edit feature... I'm able to speak with women like me... dang.
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Better?
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Much. Thanks Katie!
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #108819 is a reply to message #101800 ] |
Sat, 24 July 2010 12:44 |
Sabine
Messages: 137
Registered: July 2010 |
Senior Member |
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In my case, I wanted a GT, looked carefully to find one I knew had many years of experience, and walked in knowing I NEEDED to talk and figure it all out. I simply let it all out, everything that had been building up my entire life, all my explorations into that part of myself, all my fears and doubts. I had never confided in anyone about it all, and I had pretty much gone down the path to transition without really thinking about it, and without really knowing I was. I went for a reality check too -- to be told I wasn't, though I think I knew I was and she soon came to that conclusion as well, or to find options short of full transition, only to be told I had already tried them, and was using them. Duh. So what would I do, now?
Afterward, I was shocked at how trusting I had been. I had gone in and said, "I have gender issues and I want to talk about it," and the floodgates opened for the next 4 sessions. She later laughed about it and said, "you had a LOT to say," and she had just let me have the time. I don't think she said much the first two sessions, I walked though it all and she only asked clarifying questions.
Therapy to me was not about a box to tick to get hormones and start transition, it was to understand me and find someone I could really talk to about what I was experiencing. I feel great doing it each week, and I look forward to seeing her.
Now if I could only stop talking so much and let her get a few words in edgewise...
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #108830 is a reply to message #108819 ] |
Sat, 24 July 2010 17:49 |
CaSM
Messages: 369
Registered: June 2010
Location: The best side of 49N |
Senior Member |
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I have been thinking about the question of therapists. I understand the concern regarding the gate keeper and I can only relate to anyone who is interested that, for me, it was and still is a good thing to do.
As I have gotten older my perspectives on life have changed considerably. Hopefully I have become more tolerant, more caring and have come to realize that ,providing that I offer no harm to another, no one has the right to judge me nor do I possess that right over them. However, with my age related change in perspective comes age related baggage. Like many of us I knew that something was up with my gender at a very young age. Keeping my gal well hidden was akin to stoppering a dripping sink. Eventually I knew that one of three things was going to happen. Either the drip would stop and I could be just like everyone expected me to be,(not very likely), the sink would spill over and I would opt for the ultimate solution,(which I tried unsuccessfully on a number of occasions), or, I would pull the plug and let the water out. The third option came for me in the form of a therapist.
I walked in to his office and I was scared. How could I tell this stranger my most closely held secrets. I felt vulnerable, and totally exposed. I imagine that the best way to describe is would be like standing naked on stage in front of a large crowd. As it turned out my fears were unfounded and once the flood gates were opened there was no stopping what poured out of my soul by way of my mouth. We saw each other several more times before I moved even though by the end of the third session I was given a letter for HRT.
I now see another therapist who, although not as knowledgeable about gender issues, has helped me quite a bit resolving the tremendous dichotomies of my life. Where am I on the gender spectrum? Male or Female or somewhere in between. Which side of the spectrum does my body exist on and is that consistent with where my mind and identity exist? Am I White or am I Native? Where do I identify on that spectrum? The list goes on. When I leave her office I am totally exhausted both mentally and physically. Not just tired but exhausted, spent, lie down before you fall down tired.
So, are therapists gatekeepers? Possibly. For me that was not the point. I could have gotten whatever HRT I wanted over the Internet. Was the letter recommending HRT important? Not really, more of a convenience that allowed me legitimately access a path that I knew I needed to follow regardless of of the "gatekeeper" scenario. What then was the point? What then still is the point? For me the answer is that a therapist offers me a totally non judgemental place to air my most intimate feelings about myself and receive feedback to the principal question that I ask myself. Who am I. So, is it worth it? I can't answer or you but for me and that answer is ABSOLUTELY"
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #108836 is a reply to message #101800 ] |
Sat, 24 July 2010 19:31 |
CarolynnL
Messages: 1737
Registered: October 2007
Location: Central Time Zone |
Senior Member
Comedy Club Manager |
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I had years of depression, secretive behavior, fear of being separated out, and PTSD from, it turns out, several sources. But once I started sorting out the gender and secretive issues, the rest seemed relatively easy to deal with. Just things most everyone has in their backgrounds. Also as part of PTSD is a grief management issue and we are working on that!!! In addition to war related survivor guilt after seeing the aftermath of combat during retrieval of the bodies of friends, I seem to have a generalized survivor guilt from being with dying realatives (far too many, comes from being who I am I guess) and feeling powerless to effect a better outcome.
So the continuing sessions have helped with some things, and I am still working on the grief.
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #137657 is a reply to message #101800 ] |
Tue, 12 April 2011 09:24 |
Kasamir
Messages: 27
Registered: March 2011
Location: Sitting on my rainbow.... |
Junior Member |
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In regards to a therapist, I've been to counseling before, but they were not a therapist, and we only touched on the gender identity I prefer in regards to how I relate to my family and why it has caused me depression for several years. While I've come out to most everyone, I have not officially begun any steps aside from in my transistion to become my identified gender. Going through school right now, I treat this experience as my door of opportunity. It is my means of building a well rounded future, and on the other side, when I have graduated, I see myself pushing for the freedom to concisely begin my transition. In this respect, I think often of the places I will live and how my transition might be affected. My ideal future residence at this current point in time is Massachusetts, and therefore, I've not only researched laws there pertaining to gender expression (though I may need to touch up on this research), I've also highly considered the search for a gender specialist in that area rather than my current state and county of residence. After all, it would be silly to start in one place, stop in the middle, and have to start back up again from the beginning in a whole new place.
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #137730 is a reply to message #102492 ] |
Tue, 12 April 2011 18:46 |
| Anonymous |
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| Anonymous wrote on Tue, 01 June 2010 16:10 | It seems I can always rely on BL to feed me good things when I feel I need them.
I have been trying to word a checklist of things to ask a therapist for a post here for a long time now. Another perfect example of BL's magic is that I couldn't remember how to spell therapist and all I had to do is look at the title of this thread.
If it would not unravel this thread to much, could you all suggest things you asked when you were first interviewing your shrinks.
It is time for my incredible secret to come out. I can and have gotten my own meds and blood tests for quite a while. But this latest hormone free self test has proved to me that I need at the very least a live support group as well as my imaginary friends here.
Thank You
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Whoa.. It's been about a year since Anny posted this. I finally got myself into therapy several months ago and the last several sessions my therapist has been prompting me to just tell her. That she thinks I'll feel a lot better it I just get it off my chest, that I'm been talking in code that only I understand. And that it may not be as bad as I have lead myself to believe. I wish she would bring it up so I didn't have to. Maybe I'll do it Friday.
Plus- I go to my first support group next Tuesday.
Signed:
Allie..... I mean Anonymous
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| Re: Therapy and Therapists [message #147024 is a reply to message #137730 ] |
Thu, 11 August 2011 19:00 |
Anonymous  |
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If I'm feeling a bit 'randy' I'll go to my partner and see if she's up for some fun. If I'm feeling like I need to talk to someone I'll get a friend, family member or trans-positive minister to work things out. I find the idea of paying someone to talk to me as disgusting as the idea of paying someone to have sex with me.
A therapist is just another human being with no better insights or better life experiences then the homeless guy picking bottles out of my dumpster out back, in fact the homeless guy probably has better insights as he's struggled all of his life then some yuppie therapist charging $100/hour does.
Someone mentioned hormones are dangerous, whatever it's not like you're shooting heroin. If hormones are so incredibly dangerous (they're not if used properly) then it should be made easier to get them not more difficult by setting up a whole system so a bunch of people can make a living off ts people. Making it more difficult just makes more people turn to unofficial means to get them therefore increasing the risk. Like, if say abortions required a letter from a therapist and two psychiatrists to attain people would be doing abortions on their own and killing themselves.
Yes SRS is pretty much irreversible and many of the changes of hrt are irreversible after a certain stage. So? Micheal Jackson turned himself into an alien. It's my body. My body is the only thing I'm born with and truly own. I can do whatever I want to it. Doctors having fear of lawsuits is an excuse, you sign a simple consent form and they're off the hook for any legal repercussions, this is done for most major surgeries.
If you feel your problems are so incredible that you need to pay someone to talk to you, more power to you, go for it. When I decide if I want to do SRS, I'll get all the info from my friends and online about what the 'required' answers and action are to get in their to get it done and bluff my way through it. I'm not a child I don't need permission from mommy.
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