| trans dating? [message #14697] |
Tue, 22 January 2008 08:43  |
Anonymous  |
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Since the vast vast vast majority of pretty girls are totally focused on dating guys, getting picked up by guys, etc and well in most cities anyways the PUBLIC face of lesbian culture tends to be NOT the kind of femme sweet women one is used to dating how do people handle trans dating? Especially when you are preop.
Do you do the pickup like before?
Do you dress more MALE to try to hint that you might be on the datable side of what they normally look for?
Do you approach as a woman and be stealth?
How do you manage the fact that 99.99999% of women have never even considered dating a T. Or as one woman replied "Why would I want to date a gay boy"?
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| Re: trans dating? [message #36967 is a reply to message #14697 ] |
Tue, 22 July 2008 14:14  |
| Anonymous |
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This post is JUST funny.
ain't no smilies out here???????
Darn
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| Re: trans dating? [message #51315 is a reply to message #14697 ] |
Sat, 31 January 2009 12:44 |
| Anonymous |
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I have had the same problem/question.
Recently, I decided to try an ad on craigslist. I got about a half dozen responses over a 2 week period, most from people not local to the area, but "on business on a regular basis". Some were too needy for me, filling my inbox if I didn't respond the same day.
Since craigslist has an anonymous reply system, I was able to disclose my TS status, and that I was looking for a strictly platonic relationship.
I soon realized that this was going to be near impossible to do, IF I wanted to remain stealth at work. That is the determining factor I think. As well as remaining stealth in other areas of your life. Work is probably #1 here.
Disabling caller ID seems to help, when you need to talk real time. However a new problem is when a guy asks about your life, where you're from, etc. At that point, I tell him I would need to meet in-person to make sure he wasn't someone from work. At which point, it usually goes downhill.
So it's probably next to impossible to "date" if (1) you're preop, and (2) desiring to remain stealth. Of course, you get in your car and drive to another city and do whatever you want. But what I think you're wanting, as most of us I suppose, is someone to be with on the weekends when you go to the mall, to the movies, on a hike, or perhaps a work function.
I am preop with a date for SRS in the next year, so I am not in too much hurry to date right now, especially after 8 years of transition.
Hope this helps!
Stealth TS
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| Re: trans dating? [message #51332 is a reply to message #37912 ] |
Sat, 31 January 2009 14:41 |
| Anonymous |
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| Dharla wrote on Fri, 01 August 2008 18:24 |
:d :d :d :d :d
When you post anonymously, you don't have access to the smilies......or other "options"
LIKE BIG LETTERS!
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Thanks, I didn't know that.
anonymous. not
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| Re: trans dating? [message #51345 is a reply to message #14697 ] |
Sat, 31 January 2009 16:00 |
Derrie
Messages: 21526
Registered: October 2007 |
Senior Member
BL3D
Chief Instigator
First Officer |
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Oh! Wait!
[Updated on: Sat, 31 January 2009 16:03]
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 Re: trans dating? [message #51346 is a reply to message #14697 ] |
Sat, 31 January 2009 16:02 |
| Anonymous |
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AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
YES!!!!
It's only the smilies that are missing!!!!!!
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| Re: trans dating? [message #54018 is a reply to message #51346 ] |
Sun, 08 March 2009 13:24 |
| Anonymous |
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My experience since finishing up all the physical aspects of transition has been that I am having to learn how to let guys down without hurting them. Yes, I have actually been doing searches on the Internet to figure out how to avoid leading guys on and to figure out how to avoid giving my phone number to guys and how to tell them I am not interested in them without hurting their precious egos.
Unfortunately most of the information I have been able to find tends to be more humorous than serious.
All I need to do to attract a guy is make eye contact. I used to wonder in the past why women would look away when I made eye contact with them. Now I know why. Eye contact or simply taking an interest in a guy.
| Quote: |
Since the vast vast vast majority of pretty girls are totally focused on dating guys, getting picked up by guys, etc and well in most cities anyways the PUBLIC face of lesbian culture tends to be NOT the kind of femme sweet women one is used to dating how do people handle trans dating?
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These statements don't ring true with me. The vast majority of pretty girls are totally focused on dating guys, getting picked up by guys? Hardly.. The attractive girls (like me) are busy avoiding all the toads that want to keep kissing us. We can pretty much have whoever we want so why would we be focused on getting "picked up"? *Gag*... That is how male brains work and a product of testosterone infusion. Pretty girls might like attention but we aren't concerned about dating, all we have to do is go to a club and guys hit on us. I find myself concerned with avoiding, not finding guys.
And how do we handle trans dating?
Personally I have always been female. I had a very serious birth defect that was difficult and expensive to overcome and the last thing I am going to do is engage in "trans" dating. I am the woman I have always needed to be so that is what I am. Dating is the same for me as it is for any woman. (pretty much)
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| Re: trans dating? [message #69457 is a reply to message #14697 ] |
Sun, 04 October 2009 08:44 |
 erica
Messages: 1943
Registered: September 2009
Location: Portland OR |
Senior Member
Biker Chick
BL3D
Official Consort & Concubine to Zorcob The Pig Man
The Fab! |
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I have often wondered about dating and what I want.
When I lived as a male before I started hormone therapy I dated and was married only to girls...... I like to have relationships with women.I always considered myself a lesbian, just with the wrong plumbing.
Since I have started on hormones, I have noticed myself looking at men, and thinking to myself"hhhmmmmmm, he's a good looking guy."
Now the question is , is this the natural response of just noticing handsome men,meaning as my friend put it, "he's a good looking guy, bet he gets laid a lot,lucky bastard" and then dismiss the thought or is it something more...........
I am finding in my own personal experience it is something more.I am confused about my sexuality a little at the moment,but not my gender.
Do I want a boyfriend?
Do I want a girlfriend?
I would like someone to hold me and love me and romance me,tell me its ok and I want to be able to do the same for that special someone in return. I am petrified to date at the moment and personally I think sorting myself out first would be better rather than complicating an already over complicated life with more complications.I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to hurt anyone else.
Love is what love is...............It will happen when to people meet and "bang!Its there!"
You cannot go looking for it........It might happen today , it might not.It might happen when you are on vacation to India in 7 years, or it might happen on the bus tomorrow going to work. Who knows?
What I do know is I am alone and quite lonely .........I have very close friends whom I adore and love me and care for me ,but its not the same as a "lover"
The prospect of going out on a date scares me , as I am not where I want to be at the moment but at the same time enthralls me. I am 45 years old, been on hormones for several months and have the emotional age of a 13 year old girl.I am smart enough to realize that when someone is just being nice to me they are exactly that,just being nice.As long as I remember that I won't fling myself at a gorgeous man as he holds the door open to Macy's.........
Then the other burning question is , once you meet someone worthy of your adoration and basicc fantasticness, how much do you reveal to them about where you are in your life?
After srs and we are anatomically women,are we done with transistion?Are we ever done? What do we tell someone after we meet?
My theory at the moment is I would not tell anyone that I used to have the wrong plumbing bits.I am a woman.
I am more confused about dating as the days go past and nights get cooler and my bed seems larger.........having someone to share it with is but a far off dream.One that gives me hope .
Can't wait to go to India ,or even getting on the bus to go to work tomorrow.............
Have a happy day friends,
be well,
Erica.
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| Re: trans dating? [message #69571 is a reply to message #69457 ] |
Mon, 05 October 2009 08:59 |
| Anonymous |
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I found love when I gave up on it.
Then it just landed in my lap.
Love can not be hunted down. It can't be captured or owned.
Love just is......
Have a great trip to 'india' darling.
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. Oddly enough I wouldnt have thought of dating her as a male.