Home » Public » New Beginnings » Former member checking in
| Former member checking in [message #100769] |
Sun, 16 May 2010 07:34  |
Anonymous  |
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I was a member here some time ago.
I'm now a post-op, but just a few days so. Still in the hospital recovering but head "back East" later in the week.
There were times while a BL member that I thought I'd never type the words "post-op" in any forum, but I always kept moving forward.
Good luck everyone on your personal journey.
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #100921 is a reply to message #100779 ] |
Mon, 17 May 2010 06:53  |
| Anonymous |
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I didn't post much during the three years I belonged to BL, so chances are if I provided the info, no one would remember me.
Had SRS with Toby Meltzer, M.D., last week. Today I "lose my virginity" and depart for home Thursday afternoon. I'll return to Scottsdale for Part 2 probably early Fall 2010.
The whole experience was much more emotional than I was prepared for.
Anon
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #101098 is a reply to message #100965 ] |
Tue, 18 May 2010 19:58 |
| Anonymous |
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Tomorrow is my last full day in Scottsdale. I'll return in late September 2010 for labiaplasty that I booked today. It took me a while to get it, but I finally did. I always wondered why so many of my surgeon's patients relocated to Scottsdale or visit here frequently.
Then it came to me...the individuals are connected to this place because they were "born" here.
I know my trip in early Fall will not be my last because I've developed the same strong connection to Scottsdale.
Good night everybody,
Anon
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #110533 is a reply to message #101098 ] |
Fri, 20 August 2010 10:37 |
| Anonymous |
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Three month post-SRS update.
I'm traveling at present, this post from Boston. I fly home Sunday evening and travel continues next week--Wednesday to Trenton NJ for the day and Sunday to Richmond VA, also for the day. Busy next week.
All in all, SRS was pretty much a non-event. Only a few people knew about the surgery before I left and a few more asked if I enjoyed my vacation after I returned.
Wrote in one of my prior posts that SRS much more emotional than I was prepared for. Looking back, the intense emotions I experienced were a combination of undergoing major surgery without a family member present for the first time, fear something would go wrong (same ones that became real for Amy Hunter), lingering effects of anesthesia, narcotic pain meds and/or worry support from friends and family would continue.
Happy to report that my recovery to date without complications and no bases for fears about continued support. Followed directions carefully for post-op care, received good info from the person that does phone follow-ups for the surgeon and saw my PCP whenever necessary. Info exchanged with a fellow patient during recovery very valuable.
Nothing magical, the surgery was just that, surgery.
Sincerely,
Anon
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #111350 is a reply to message #110603 ] |
Sun, 29 August 2010 20:37 |
| Anonymous |
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| Yulia wrote on Sat, 21 August 2010 04:52 | Your forum name didn't begin with a D by any chance did it?
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Yulia, my forum name did not begin with a D. Sorry.
Tonight I'm in Richmond, my third state capitol in 7 days Decided to spend the night and drive home tomorrow. Virginia makes the fourth state I performed "post-op care" in.
Had lunch with a friend getting ready to book her FFS on Wednesday of last week. She asked my opinion on three well-known FFS surgeons and I told her what I thought since I had at least one consult with all three. She asked me why I chose my surgeon and also why I did not book with the other two.
She surprised me by saying I hadn't become an "elitist" like many post-ops. I asked her what she meant and her reply was "you're still talking to a pre-op as a post-op."
Her "elitist" remark did not sit well with me.
Anon
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #114039 is a reply to message #111350 ] |
Tue, 21 September 2010 18:06 |
| Anonymous |
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When I go back and read this sometime in the future, I'll probably think "...what were you thinking? You posted this while taking narcotic pain meds."
It's about 2,500 miles (4.5 hours flying time via direct flight) and three time zones from BWI to PHX, but somehow the distance seems much greater. This is my third trip here in less than 12 months and I admit the beauty of AZ lost on me. Scottsdale will always be special and a nice place to visit (definitely come back), but I wouldn't want to live here. My personal preference is green grass, hardwood trees, four seasons, etc., all amenities that residing in the "Land of Pleasant Living" provides. The temperature at home the morning I left was 57F and when I arrived at PHX, 111F, almost a 50F difference.
Surgery and travel now complete for 2010 and I am glad that all went well. FFS recovery was more arduous than expected last year and this year recovery after SRS during the hottest summer on record was challenging.
I went to see my PCP not long after my initial surgery and was surprised he suggested continuing Spiro. I questioned him about it and he said in some cases, additional breast development occurs. Since I'm borderline hypertensive, the med keeps my BP well-controlled, additional development could be a desired side-effect. Think it's too early to tell if anything will happen, but the BP is where it should be.
Though I initially doubted that any significant changes would occur mentally or emotionally, I've had a couple of moments since May that convinced me Kate Grimaldi is correct. Future is going to be interesting because the few to date were more "whoa" than "ah-ha." I'm finding men absolutely fascinating, sexy and charming, so I'm compelled to continue with more research for the reason(s) why.
I'm glad another woman also having surgery in May visited me early-on in my recovery. Since then, we developed a friendship, shared experiences and exchanged information. As she put it "glad I have you to talk to, no one else is interested in the details." I told her I feel the same. She lives somewhere in the greater Phoenix area (not close) and I was able to get together with her Sunday night and had a wonderful evening. She is very kind and I am happy she took the time/made the effort to come and see me.
To those considering (or already booked) surgery, whichever procedures you undergo, I hope you meet at least one person like her to share your recovery with. She's been invaluable.
I just checked and Phoenix is the capitol of AZ, so I've visited four state capitols in less than a month (Boston MA, Trenton NJ, Richmon VA and Phoenix AZ).
Tomorrow I go home with no travel scheduled for the rest of 2010. With luck, should have spent only a total of eighty-eight hours away, from departure Sunday morning until I pickup my bag from the carousel on arrival late Wednesday evening.
Sincerely,
Anon
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #117380 is a reply to message #100769 ] |
Fri, 15 October 2010 23:59 |
| Anonymous |
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Hey, Suz here. I thought I'd check in too.
about 10 years ago when I was 19 years old, I used the beginning life forums a bit while trying to figure out who/what I was. I went full time that year, started hormones, then spent a long time in low-paying jobs paying the rent and saving up money for surgery.
Got SRS about 4 years ago, my bachelors degree finished about 1 year ago, and now I'm in graduate school.
I used to do a moderately popular trans-podcast. I used to be very out, until about three years ago. Then I just shut down my podcast and stopped talking about it. I suppose I"m some degree of "stealth" now. Although, I told one of my fellow grad-school students one day while we were drinking after class, discussing our upcoming presentation on counseling GLBT clients.
I've really really felt like coming out lately. I consider trans-woman to be as much a type of woman as something like black-woman or short-woman, but my best friend advises me against it. I'm not sure whether to come back out of the closet or not. I like people knowing I'm transsexual, because it feels honest. I might even be proud I had SRS, because it's the only thing I've accomplished outside of school. I'm not sure.
That's my current struggle, out vs stealth. I think about it quite a bit, and fantasize about coming out. But I don't' know. Perhaps I shouldn't come out until I really understand why I want to.
Other than that, I've been married for three years now, I'm employed and working on that masters degree. That's my check-in.
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #133505 is a reply to message #117393 ] |
Mon, 28 February 2011 10:39 |
| Anonymous |
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Haven't posted in some time and done some retrospective thinking on my experiences over the last few years. My losses to this point are manageable. I lost a few longtime friends and family members that couldn't/wouldn't understand, but relationships with remaining family and friends survived despite many bumps and hiccups. I can't fill the voids left by lost family members, but new friends outnumber lost ones. Today, I have more people in my life that I genuinely care about than before starting transition. I hope everyone that took the time to read my post can make the same statement.
Sadly, the woman that also had surgery about the same time stopped replying to my emails or returning my calls. She worked in a sector that was hard-hit by the economic downturn and she talked about difficulty finding a job in her highly specialized field the last time we spoke. I miss her emails and long phone calls, hope she's OK.
During the session with my primary therapist for his SRS referral letter, he mentioned that my friends are interested in current details, but make an effort not to talk about your experiences so much when you return. Based on his good advice, I talk less and less about what's happened over the last few years simply because it's all old news and I don't want to be a bore. My therapist always has a reason when giving advice and looking back, his was simply to get on with your life, SRS in the past. If the subject does come up, about the only question my close friends ask nowadays is "it's been almost a year hasn't it?" A simple "yes, doesn't seem possible" is my reply. I'd rather chat about relationships, work, my children, my dogs, etc.
Not going into intimate details but, I dated a wonderful man for several months but unfortunately it didn't work out. Always a great time, but I needed one component the relationship lacked--an emotional connection. All-in-all, it was a good experience and revelation about my needs.
I donated a huge amount of time (so much I lost track) during 2008-2010 to a worthwhile cause but it was not a local one. Due to my involvement in that project, I became aware of things going on in other areas of the country finding two programs that were of great interest to me. We have a real need locally for both, so I met last night with a member of local clergy and pitched my ideas to him. He was receptive and wanted more information before discussing both with his pastor. One is a congregant meal program for less fortunate LGBTs and the other is marking life cycles specific to the transgender experience mirroring the one at Congregation Beit Simchat Torah in New York.
In closing, my life's not perfect, but it's good. I'll end this post with the same words as my first:
Good luck everyone on your personal journey.
Sincerely
Anon
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #133525 is a reply to message #117380 ] |
Mon, 28 February 2011 12:28 |
Katie
Messages: 14644
Registered: October 2007
Location: La La Land |
Senior Member
Administrator
Bitch Queen of Palolo
BL3D
Frequent Flyer |
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| Anonymous wrote on Fri, 15 October 2010 20:59 | Hey, Suz here. I thought I'd check in too.
about 10 years ago when I was 19 years old, I used the beginning life forums a bit while trying to figure out who/what I was. I went full time that year, started hormones, then spent a long time in low-paying jobs paying the rent and saving up money for surgery.
Got SRS about 4 years ago, my bachelors degree finished about 1 year ago, and now I'm in graduate school.
I used to do a moderately popular trans-podcast. I used to be very out, until about three years ago. Then I just shut down my podcast and stopped talking about it. I suppose I"m some degree of "stealth" now. Although, I told one of my fellow grad-school students one day while we were drinking after class, discussing our upcoming presentation on counseling GLBT clients.
I've really really felt like coming out lately. I consider trans-woman to be as much a type of woman as something like black-woman or short-woman, but my best friend advises me against it. I'm not sure whether to come back out of the closet or not. I like people knowing I'm transsexual, because it feels honest. I might even be proud I had SRS, because it's the only thing I've accomplished outside of school. I'm not sure.
That's my current struggle, out vs stealth. I think about it quite a bit, and fantasize about coming out. But I don't' know. Perhaps I shouldn't come out until I really understand why I want to.
Other than that, I've been married for three years now, I'm employed and working on that masters degree. That's my check-in.
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 It's good to hear from you!
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #140905 is a reply to message #133585 ] |
Fri, 20 May 2011 13:17 |
| Anonymous |
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I started this thread a year ago while recovering from SRS in my hospital room. I returned for a one-year/12,000 mile check-up with my surgeon earlier this month, so I've come full circle. My first experience with a vaginal speculum was not as traumatizing as I expected.
The good news is the exam went well, but I experienced a great personal loss last month. My father died after a long and very painful battle with multiple malignant carcinomas (kidney, prostate, bladder and bone).
He was a widower and I became his primary caregiver six years ago--before, during and after transition. I cared for him through all his surgeries and treatments as well as my own. My father gave me the gift of life experience as his daughter, something I will always cherish regardless of the circumstances.
We all have one person that is accepting and supportive to a greater degree than we ever imagined. For me, that person was my father.
For the last time, good luck everyone on your personal journey.
Anon
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #140908 is a reply to message #140905 ] |
Fri, 20 May 2011 15:24 |
Katie
Messages: 14644
Registered: October 2007
Location: La La Land |
Senior Member
Administrator
Bitch Queen of Palolo
BL3D
Frequent Flyer |
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| Anonymous wrote on Fri, 20 May 2011 10:17 | I started this thread a year ago while recovering from SRS in my hospital room. I returned for a one-year/12,000 mile check-up with my surgeon earlier this month, so I've come full circle. My first experience with a vaginal speculum was not as traumatizing as I expected.
The good news is the exam went well, but I experienced a great personal loss last month. My father died after a long and very painful battle with multiple malignant carcinomas (kidney, prostate, bladder and bone).
He was a widower and I became his primary caregiver six years ago--before, during and after transition. I cared for him through all his surgeries and treatments as well as my own. My father gave me the gift of life experience as his daughter, something I will always cherish regardless of the circumstances.
We all have one person that is accepting and supportive to a greater degree than we ever imagined. For me, that person was my father.
For the last time, good luck everyone on your personal journey.
Anon
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #149805 is a reply to message #141118 ] |
Thu, 06 October 2011 04:32 |
| Anonymous |
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Addendum to my May 20, 2011 post because I don't recall anyone post-transition writing about their experiences acting as a trustee/executor after a family member's death.
No changes were made to any original documents for my father's will and trust. The words "will and trust" project an image of a significant amount of assets but actually the amount was sufficient to cover funeral/burial expenses, fees and pay outstanding bills.
I spoke with my father about revising all documents from my birth to legal name several times. When I mentioned it initially, things were stable with both his health and our relationship so I did not press the issue. I mentioned it several more times but about eight months prior to his death, his health declined dramatically and for lack of a better term, it was simply too late to do anything.
At his death, I was named as trustee/executor in my birth name. I admit that the thought of having to "out" my self again and again made me very uncomfortable. So far, I've had no awkward moments or difficulties. All individuals I've interacted with react as though dealing with someone that changed genders was routine regular everyday occurrence.
The process is straightforward--show a government issued photo ID, provide an official (aka a court) copy of the name change decree and fill out a form (every entity has their own version), then sign it. To date, no one required an official copy with a gold raised seal for their records, they simply photocopied the official copy of the decree I brought along with me.
I always take along my BC as additional proof of relationship, but no one asked for it. I hoped someone would so I could use it officially at least one time.
Anon
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #154983 is a reply to message #149843 ] |
Sat, 31 December 2011 08:03 |
| Anonymous |
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I started this thread while recovering in Room 16 at Greenbaum Surgery Center with no intent for it to be a personal blog. I owe both an apology and a thank-you to the moderators for allowing me to continue.
Putting my experiences into words has been therapeutic because 2011 was a difficult year and its evident due to its length that I've been working on this for some time. In addition to my father's death in early Spring, I was a victim of a vicious unprovoked assault in late Summer. I have no reason to believe the assault was in any shape or form a hate crime and delayed posting details until the criminal matter was final.
I took my dogs out for their pre-bedtime walk on a late Summer night when I noticed a young man sitting on the sidewalk outside my home. He appeared ill so I took my dogs back inside and got my phone. I was providing the "911" dispatcher with details when he suddenly bolted toward me, caught me off-guard and knocked me to the ground with a single punch to my face. My assailant screamed profanities as he kicked and struck me with both feet and hands repeatedly for what seemed to me as an eternity in my upper body and head while I was on the ground begging him to stop. I lay helpless because I used my hands and arms to cover my face and head.
My neighbor heard me screaming for help, came to my aid and pulled him off of me just as police arrived. A policeman came over, took a look and told me to stay still while three other policeman surrounded my assailant. Paramedics arrived shortly thereafter, treated me inside an ambulance and transported me to a local hospital. The paramedics also assessed my assailant's condition told me that his right hand was fractured during the attack accounting for the severity of my injuries. At the ER, I underwent a battery of CT scans and received seven sutures for a significant laceration on the bridge of my nose. The CT scans documented a concussion and multiple nasal fractures. The metal-frame eyeglasses I was wearing were destroyed and I assume they were the cause of the nasal laceration. I did not get a look at my face until I used the bathroom in the ER several hours after the attack. When I looked into the mirror, staring back at me were the disfigured results of my 9.5 hours of FFS with Dr. Spiegel. I returned to the ER by ambulance a few days later (per my PCP's orders) for treatment of nausea/vomiting post-head injury.
My PCP referred me to an area plastic/reconstructive surgeon and during my initial consult with her, I found it interesting that she was knowledgeable about both FFS and Dr. Spiegel providing additional evidence Derrie and Wendy that more individuals share our common bond than we imagined. The surgeon scheduled the procedures a week later to allow for the swelling to subside and I underwent repair of the multiple nasal fractures without complications. The surgeon said a second surgery is almost a certainty due to the severity of the crush injury to my nose. I had a post-op visit with her mid-October and she wants to see me again next month, January 2012.
I won't lie that recovery after the initial surgery involved significant discomfort and I dread the thought of more surgery. I know I took quite a beating and perhaps the combination of healing from procedures and the assault made things difficult, but it seemed worse than the same period of time after FFS. Dr. Spiegel did not pack my nose during FFS but this surgeon did. During removal of the packing one week post-op, I held on tightly ("white knuckles") to both arms of the exam chair in her treatment room because the discomfort was intense, "11" on a "1-10" scale.
Throughout this ordeal, I testified under oath 3 times in open court, went before 4 judges (3 to obtain a restraining order and 1 for the criminal matter), dealt with lawyers, police officers, paramedics, nurses, doctors and other medical professionals that I did not know. Everyone I came in contact with was respectful, professional and kind. My assailant was charged with felony first degree assault and held in jail pending trial because he was unable to make bail. The prosecutor told me due to the brutality of the assault, if my attacker used anything that met the slightest legal definition of a weapon, the charge would have been attempted murder. No weapon was used, therefore felony first degree assault was the most severe criminal charge applicable. The prosecutor asked for any photos documenting my injuries and a victim impact statement to submit as evidence for the trial. The criminal trial scheduled for mid-December 2011 was cancelled due to a plea agreement reached between his attorney and the prosecutor. I was relieved that I did not have to testify in open court about the events of that evening. A plea hearing was held in place of a criminal jury trial.
At the hearing, my assailant pled guilty subject to sentencing guidelines for a lesser charge. After listening to testimony from both attorneys, my assailant and reviewing the evidence, the judge was visibly angry and did not agree that the details of the plea agreement were appropriate "...given the heinous nature of the crime." The judge addressed my attacker and his attorney noting the graphic photos of my head/face/upper torso documenting the extent of my injuries taken the day after the assault, my victim impact statement and testimony from my assailant that he consumed an entire bottle of vodka after taking prescribed medications for an emotional disorder, drugs obtained from a "street pharmacy" and had no recollection of what he did. The judge sentenced my assailant on the original charge to jail with extremely restrictive probation on his release. I am realistic knowing he will not serve the entire 10 years unless he violates the conditions of his probation (very likely given his history of significant polysubstance abuse).
I only mentioned the "T" word when going over my history to medical professionals treating me for my injuries. I found that vaginoplasty and labiaplasty listed as past surgeries always get a follow-up question, usually "...there's no one here that does that?" A reasonable question since I live in a suburban area of a city that's not only medically well-served, but also the location of two teaching hospitals with medical schools. As far as anyone else involved was concerned, I was a female victim of an unprovoked assault and have no reason to believe I was treated differently than any other woman. Court orders for name/BC changes are public record in my state, available free on-line. If anyone involved checked, nothing was mentioned.
I assume some readers of my post are trained in self-defense and/or legally carry hand guns or other weapons for protection in a situation similar to this one. I can state that the "real thing" is nothing as one might imagine due to the element of surprise. I literally felt helpless and if I had a weapon of any sorts, my assailant may have used it against me. Being the victim of an unprovoked vicious beating in the flower bed below my bedroom window after offering help to someone in distress is still hard for me to comprehend. How my assailant got to the sidewalk in front of my house in a quiet, peaceful and relatively crime-free suburban area remains unexplained.
This experience gave me a renewed appreciation of how much I have to be thankful for during this Holiday Season and I hope that 2012 is kinder and gentler. Not only for me, but for everyone.
Anon
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #154984 is a reply to message #149843 ] |
Sat, 31 December 2011 08:04 |
| Anonymous |
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I started this thread while recovering in Room 16 at Greenbaum Surgery Center with no intent for it to be a personal blog. I owe both an apology and a thank-you to the moderators for allowing me to continue.
Putting my experiences into words has been therapeutic because 2011 was a difficult year and its evident due to its length that I've been working on this for some time. In addition to my father's death in early Spring, I was a victim of a vicious unprovoked assault in late Summer. I have no reason to believe the assault was in any shape or form a hate crime and delayed posting details until the criminal matter was final.
I took my dogs out for their pre-bedtime walk on a late Summer night when I noticed a young man sitting on the sidewalk outside my home. He appeared ill so I took my dogs back inside and got my phone. I was providing the "911" dispatcher with details when he suddenly bolted toward me, caught me off-guard and knocked me to the ground with a single punch to my face. My assailant screamed profanities as he kicked and struck me with both feet and hands repeatedly for what seemed to me as an eternity in my upper body and head while I was on the ground begging him to stop. I lay helpless because I used my hands and arms to cover my face and head.
My neighbor heard me screaming for help, came to my aid and pulled him off of me just as police arrived. A policeman came over, took a look and told me to stay still while three other policeman surrounded my assailant. Paramedics arrived shortly thereafter, treated me inside an ambulance and transported me to a local hospital. The paramedics also assessed my assailant's condition told me that his right hand was fractured during the attack accounting for the severity of my injuries. At the ER, I underwent a battery of CT scans and received seven sutures for a significant laceration on the bridge of my nose. The CT scans documented a concussion and multiple nasal fractures. The metal-frame eyeglasses I was wearing were destroyed and I assume they were the cause of the nasal laceration. I did not get a look at my face until I used the bathroom in the ER several hours after the attack. When I looked into the mirror, staring back at me were the disfigured results of my 9.5 hours of FFS with Dr. Spiegel. I returned to the ER by ambulance a few days later (per my PCP's orders) for treatment of nausea/vomiting post-head injury.
My PCP referred me to an area plastic/reconstructive surgeon and during my initial consult with her, I found it interesting that she was knowledgeable about both FFS and Dr. Spiegel providing additional evidence Derrie and Wendy that more individuals share our common bond than we imagined. The surgeon scheduled the procedures a week later to allow for the swelling to subside and I underwent repair of the multiple nasal fractures without complications. The surgeon said a second surgery is almost a certainty due to the severity of the crush injury to my nose. I had a post-op visit with her mid-October and she wants to see me again next month, January 2012.
I won't lie that recovery after the initial surgery involved significant discomfort and I dread the thought of more surgery. I know I took quite a beating and perhaps the combination of healing from procedures and the assault made things difficult, but it seemed worse than the same period of time after FFS. Dr. Spiegel did not pack my nose during FFS but this surgeon did. During removal of the packing one week post-op, I held on tightly ("white knuckles") to both arms of the exam chair in her treatment room because the discomfort was intense, "11" on a "1-10" scale.
Throughout this ordeal, I testified under oath 3 times in open court, went before 4 judges (3 to obtain a restraining order and 1 for the criminal matter), dealt with lawyers, police officers, paramedics, nurses, doctors and other medical professionals that I did not know. Everyone I came in contact with was respectful, professional and kind. My assailant was charged with felony first degree assault and held in jail pending trial because he was unable to make bail. The prosecutor told me due to the brutality of the assault, if my attacker used anything that met the slightest legal definition of a weapon, the charge would have been attempted murder. No weapon was used, therefore felony first degree assault was the most severe criminal charge applicable. The prosecutor asked for any photos documenting my injuries and a victim impact statement to submit as evidence for the trial. The criminal trial scheduled for mid-December 2011 was cancelled due to a plea agreement reached between his attorney and the prosecutor. I was relieved that I did not have to testify in open court about the events of that evening. A plea hearing was held in place of a criminal jury trial.
At the hearing, my assailant pled guilty subject to sentencing guidelines for a lesser charge. After listening to testimony from both attorneys, my assailant and reviewing the evidence, the judge was visibly angry and did not agree that the details of the plea agreement were appropriate "...given the heinous nature of the crime." The judge addressed my attacker and his attorney noting the graphic photos of my head/face/upper torso documenting the extent of my injuries taken the day after the assault, my victim impact statement and testimony from my assailant that he consumed an entire bottle of vodka after taking prescribed medications for an emotional disorder, drugs obtained from a "street pharmacy" and had no recollection of what he did. The judge sentenced my assailant on the original charge to jail with extremely restrictive probation on his release. I am realistic knowing he will not serve the entire 10 years unless he violates the conditions of his probation (very likely given his history of significant polysubstance abuse).
I only mentioned the "T" word when going over my history to medical professionals treating me for my injuries. I found that vaginoplasty and labiaplasty listed as past surgeries always get a follow-up question, usually "...there's no one here that does that?" A reasonable question since I live in a suburban area of a city that's not only medically well-served, but also the location of two teaching hospitals with medical schools. As far as anyone else involved was concerned, I was a female victim of an unprovoked assault and have no reason to believe I was treated differently than any other woman. Court orders for name/BC changes are public record in my state, available free on-line. If anyone involved checked, nothing was mentioned.
I assume some readers of my post are trained in self-defense and/or legally carry hand guns or other weapons for protection in a situation similar to this one. I can state that the "real thing" is nothing as one might imagine due to the element of surprise. I literally felt helpless and if I had a weapon of any sorts, my assailant may have used it against me. Being the victim of an unprovoked vicious beating in the flower bed below my bedroom window after offering help to someone in distress is still hard for me to comprehend. How my assailant got to the sidewalk in front of my house in a quiet, peaceful and relatively crime-free suburban area remains unexplained.
This experience gave me a renewed appreciation of how much I have to be thankful for during this Holiday Season and I hope that 2012 is kinder and gentler. Not only for me, but for everyone.
Anon
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #155015 is a reply to message #154986 ] |
Sat, 31 December 2011 15:22 |
Anonymous  |
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Wow. What a riveting story. I believe I held my breath the entire time while reading it. I know I had one big exhale at the end. The good news is that 2012 can't be any worse than 2011. Happy New Year girl.
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #158981 is a reply to message #155156 ] |
Sat, 10 March 2012 08:09 |
| Anonymous |
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This post while in Santa Monica CA, my first vacation in four years. My body is still on Eastern time, asleep at 9 pm and up at 4:30 am.
I arrived Tuesday afternoon with my daughter and we attended the "Sons of Anarchy" presentation Wednesday night at Paley Fest. While recovering from the assault and subsequent surgery last Summer, my daughter brought her SOA box sets of seasons 1-3 to help me deal with my boredom. I became a fan and began watching season 4 but stopped because she called every Wednesday morning with a full report on the prior evening's episode. I looked forward to her calls and was sad when the season finale aired. My daughter proposed attending Paley Fest in December and purchased tickets to two events mid-January 2012. Of course, since she paid for the tickets, only fair that I pay her airfare plus all hotel, rental car and other expenses.
My daughter's friend since age 6 arrived Thursday morning and the three of us had breakfast in the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel on Friday. It was sinfully expensive ($104.00 before tip), but will I ever have another opportunity? The answer is never. My daughter's friend was her confidante throughout my transition and our time together was my opportunity to show how much her unconditional support to my daughter meant to me.
Last night, I got very emotional looking at the photos of us in the restaurant taken by our server. This whole time is a dream come true, something I never imagined possible when I began transition.
Tonight the girls will be at Paley Fest attending "Vampire Diaries." Like any good parent, I'll make sure they arrive safely (drop them off myself) and will wait for their call to fetch them from the Saban Theater later this evening. Since they'll be at Paley Fest, I'm eating alone tonight, nothing special planned. On second thought, a "double meat" from In N Out's not-so-secret menu is special because I don't think they'll ever come East. My last meal alone in a city far from home was the Sunday before my SRS scheduled for Tuesday morning in Scottsdale almost two years ago. Memories are still sharp of the bowel prep alone in a hotel room after all this time.
After re-reading that last paragraph, I realized it was the first time I used a plural to mark the amount of time that's elapsed since SRS.
I saw the surgeon that repaired my nose in January 2012 and relieved no further surgery is needed. She didn't need to say a word, I knew immediately from her huge smile that she was quite pleased with the results of her work.
Tomorrow morning we leave LAX and return to the "Land of Pleasant Living" on the only airline that doesn't charge for bags. I love it here, but look forward to sleeping in my own bed tomorrow night.
My best friend is taking care of my three dogs (the triplets) and after speaking with her last night an, an understatement to say they've been quite a handful. After listening to her detailed account of the triplets naughty behavior, it may be four years before I take another vacation. They're all rescues with health issues that makes finding a kennel willing to board them difficult.
So far, 2012 is indeed kinder and gentler than 2011.
Anon
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| Re: Former member checking in [message #163149 is a reply to message #100769 ] |
Sat, 12 May 2012 06:26 |
| Anonymous |
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Last month had the potential for a bad one. Fortunately, it wasn't.
On the second Monday in April, I went to a local funeral home and paid my respects to the family of my father's closest friend, I always called him "uncle." His funeral Mass was Tuesday and it was extremely difficult attending the service because that day also marked a year since my father's death. After the service, his family gave me some fresh flowers from the arrangement I sent (florist's recommendation because he was cremated) to place on my mother and father's graves. My mother and father died in different years one calendar day apart. Wednesday of the same week marked another year since my mother's death. Her death was unexpected and swift but his death a slow, painful one. Getting through the second week of April was difficult.
I always send cards as appropriate--birthday, holiday, thank-you, sympathy, etc. One of the subtle changes of my transition was the sudden realization of how much time I spend in the local Hallmark store reading the verse inside prior to purchase and/or returning one to the rack because its words did not properly convey my feelings to the recipient. A task once the equivalent of going to the dentist for a root canal is now something I don't mind at all. In fact, finding the perfect card makes the experience enjoyable.
During my difficult week last month, I received cards, calls and emails from some friends and family members including one phone call that was a "blockbuster." I haven't seen my former sister-in-law for more than six years. Whenever in her company, I always felt a special bond, perhaps she was the closest I ever came to having a sister. I truly missed talking to and seeing her. Her divorce from my brother was very ugly, done well before I began transition. I never expected to hear from her again after their divorce was finalized.
She called on the Tuesday marking one year since my father's death and asked how things were going. I was almost speechless when I answered the phone and heard her trademark "Hey, what's goin' on?" During the conversation she said "I heard you changed your name, what is it now?" I told her I changed more than my name and brought her up to date with everything that's happened since I last saw her. Once I told her, she used my legal name throughout the rest of our conversation. We talked for over an hour, she even asked "why didn't you call me?" I told her knowing my brother as well as I do, she had enough to deal with.
I wanted to do something special for my friend that watched the triplets in March to make up for their naughty behavior. When I asked "buy me dinner at the Polo Lounge," was her response. I won't lie, I was expecting someplace local without the need for booking flights, TSA, rental car, hotel, etc. She earned the right to choose because one of the many situations she dealt with while I was gone included an emergency trip to my vet. We're planning a BWI-LAX trip for early October 2012 and we agreed to split whatever expenses possible. From now on, I must be more careful with my words when asking her questions.
Two years ago today was my first full post-op day. I know there's a never ending debate about which is more debilitating, FFS or SRS. Since I only have my own experiences to answer that question, SRS was the worst of the two due to the added emotional component of intense loneliness that seemed to exacerbate everything.
Finally, as I write this I'm sitting in my favorite chair, the dogs scattered in their usual places sleeping, a cup of coffee within reach in my GM EMD ceramic mug (a gift from an employee) emblazoned with art from a 1947 painting by Ben Dedek created for an order of F3 Union Pacific locomotives, notebook in lap and relaxing/reflecting on how much my life changed since then.
Two years is long enough. The time is perfect and words appropriate for my last post to this thread.
Thanks everyone.
Anon
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